Why We Find More Happiness as We Get Older

Why we find more happiness as we get older

As people age, they often realize that happiness doesn’t come from material things. Even Steve Jobs, one of the richest people in the world, noted:

“As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.”

But why do we hear this wisdom mostly from people nearing the end of their “race of life”? Why don’t younger people understand this sooner?

The answer isn’t all that complicated. As people age, they begin to understand the true balance of life. They come to realize that what truly matters are the moments spent with loved ones. Life is like a battery, and it’s these happy moments that recharge us.

Finding happiness as we get older

You might be thinking, “Is this just another feel-good, philosophical blog?” Well, it’s not—and trust me, I’m an engineer, not a philosopher! So, why am I talking about happiness and well-being? It all started with my research for the project “What’s Missing? Innovating Interdisciplinary Methods for Hard-to-Reach Environments,” where we’re trying to understand how people in informal settlements, despite all their safety and security needs, innovate to improve their quality of life.

My goal is to apply multivariate data analysis to figure out how social safety and security impact emotional well-being in these communities. As I dove deeper, I stumbled upon some really cool insights about how we actually get happier as we get older. And it’s not just my opinion—there’s actual science behind it! Research shows that emotional well-being, which is basically how happy and satisfied we feel with life, tends to improve with age. Here are a couple of key reasons why:

1. Socio-emotional Selectivity Theory: This theory explains how, as people age, their perception of time shifts, leading them to focus on emotionally meaningful experiences and relationships. Older adults prioritize positive interactions, avoid negative or conflictual situations, and invest in activities and relationships that bring them happiness. This shift in focus helps them find deeper meaning in their lives and enhances their emotional well-being (Carstensen et al., 2000).

   
   

2. Selective Optimization with Compensation: This theory suggests that while aging might bring physical or mental limitations, older adults adapt by focusing on their strengths. They use their experience to excel in areas they’re good at and find new ways to overcome challenges. This adaptability helps them keep pursuing their goals and maintaining emotional well-being, despite the changes that come with age (Baltes & Baltes, 1990).

The reflections we often hear about life are backed by science. I’ve learned that we sometimes let meaningful moments with loved ones slip away, focusing on work or activities that bring only short-term pleasure. These distractions don’t lead to lasting happiness. To build resilience and handle life’s challenges, focus on spending quality time with yourself and those who matter.

Life also teaches valuable lessons in unexpected ways. When you learn something new, apply it to your everyday life and share it with others. And most importantly, “Enjoy the process.”

References

Baltes, P. B., & Baltes, M. M. (1990). Psychological perspectives on successful aging: The model of selective optimization with compensation. En P. B. Baltes & M. M. Baltes (Eds.), Successful Aging (pp. 1–34). Cambridge University Press.

Carstensen, L. L., Pasupathi, M., Mayr, U., & Nesselroade, J. R. (2000). Emotional experience in everyday life across the adult life span. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79(4), 644–655. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.79.4.644